Chris Carlisle

TO: Nelly and Tim McGraw
CC: Everyone else in the music industry
Date: 1/18/05
RE: Over and Over (please stop!!)

Guys should not perform lamenting love song duets. It’s pathetic enough when one guy bleats over the airwaves about “missin’ his baby oh so bad”, but when two guys do it, the pathetic quotient is catapulted out of the stratosphere into uncharted territory. Love song duets are reserved for male/female combinations only. Same sex marriages have been banned in most states, so I am certain a same-sex duet ban would pass at about the same margin. On occasion the female lamenting love song duet has worked, but I am willing to sacrifice them in order to prevent this combination from ever happening again.
I understand the mitigating factors that led to this song being created. Here you have Nelly, a very popular Hip Hop music icon (sans Band-Aid, sadly), and Tim McGraw a very popular country music icon. Marketing wizards must have looked at the demographics who purchase both artists records and realized the two do not intersect. Two distinct buying publics, meaning a joint venture by the two would capitalize both markets! It’s a win-win! Golden baby!
So Nelly’s people called Tim’s people, a date was set, a song was choosen, guys in cowboy hats listened to the song and shook their heads when the song sounded too ‘urban’ for Mr. McGraw’s fan base, while guys in do-rags and hip hop medallions shook their heads when the song sounded too ‘rural’ for Nelly’s street cred, until finally after months of rewrites, recording and rehashing, the airwaves are flooded with a homogenized song that appeals to everybody and nobody at the same time. It’s airplay appeal is maximized since it is accepted in more than one genre of music, so the song is heard on country radio stations, pop radio stations, MTV, CMT, and VH1.
Some may ask why have I choosen to blast this song so fervidly. You may think that I am a fan of Nelly or Tim McGraw that thinks his artist has “sold out.” On the contrary. I commend both men on their successes and have no problems that they wanted to link up for maximum market exposure. It’s just the song is so tedious:
Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
And I can’t keep picturing you with him
And it hurts so bad, yeah.
That fricken refrain has been stuck in my fricken head all fricken day! And it does hurt so bad, yeah. Both singers sound either cool, tired or some combination of the two, and the song is kept at a low almost monotone pitch to keep it in the range of both artists.
Guys, if in the future you should ever wish to team up again, I would suggest something with more of an edge, a rousing good ol’ boy and b-boy number, marinated in crunk juice and cheap whiskey. Instead of whining about her leaving, tell about how you gathered up the homies in the 4×4 and tagged her house while Bubba gave her a yard job. That would be the shizizzle, y’all.