Chris Carlisle

I need your assistance in an important pressing matter. It’s not a matter of life or death or national security, nothing like that. This is something much more important: this is about winning an argument with my wife. Yes, it’s that important. The argument began in the drive-thru line at a local fast food restaurant. [...]

[Read more →]

The year 2010 still holds the connotation of a far off date in a futuristic science fiction novel, yet in reality 2010 it can be summed up in a single word: Friday. In the science fiction version of 2010, it is a time of technological enlightenment and discovery; a time when rocket cars, moon bases, [...]

[Read more →]

I volunteered to coach my coach my five-year-old daughter’s soccer team this fall. Well, that’s not entirely true.  To volunteer means to freely give one’s time, and technically that’s not what happened here.  Sure, I am giving my time to coach my daughter’s team, an unpaid position, but the means by which I became her [...]

[Read more →]

There’s nothing quite like the feeling you get when you come home after a long, hard day of pretending to work, walking through the front door of your house, and have your wife greet you as you enter the door, saying those three little words: “The sink’s clogged.” Granted, those weren’t the three words you [...]

[Read more →]

Sunday March 8 at 2am marks the beginning of Daylight Savings Time. I don’t know the complete history of Daylight Savings, but I believe it began in the late 1800s as a measure to protect early rising farmers from vampire attacks as they transported their goods to the markets in the wee hours of the [...]

[Read more →]

Welcome to the official start of Beard Season 2009! Beard season, if you’re unaware, is the longest contiguous time period during a calendar year in which a man can grow his beard before his wife or girlfriend insists that he shave it off. Officially Beard Season begins each year in the week following Valentine’s Day [...]

[Read more →]

(Note: the following article contains references to bodily functions that are not generally topics of discussion in polite company. Since what follows is neither a Nickelodeon cartoon nor a Jack Black movie, the offending references have been removed. Instead, these references have been replaced by inoffensive, innocuous banking terms, which, considering the current financial crisis, [...]

[Read more →]